Shame existence Binds

Adoption is almost always worth looking into with a client. Often, but of course not always, a child who was given up for adoption will have a subtle but deeply felt "shame-existence bind," which is a situation where I feel ashamed to exist. The client is sometimes aware of this, but frequently they are not. In either case the shame bind will manifest itself in either overt or covert suicidality; including risk-taking, using drugs or alcohol to an excess, or self-sabotage just when their ship is about to come in. <p>Shame-existence binds don't just show up with clients who were adopted - I'd say they are actually relatively common clinically. If you find one it's best treated in a group setting where rapport has been established by the client with both the group and the practitioner. Have the client affirm "I have the right to exist," making eye-contact with one individual in the group at a time going all the way around the room. The reactions vary, but often there will be tears by the fourth or fifth person, and it will "break" after six or seven. If you don't have a group to work with, have the client practice "I am worthy" and "I have a right to exist" as affirmations hundreds of times daily for a month. For many the chance is significant and measurable.